Hot Summer Day
by FunkelinaGroovenstein
Summary: Kevin and Edd has this ambiguous romantic relationship going on. Edd wish Kevin would just make a move. However Kevin doesn't realise the hints.
1. Frying pan, it sizzles!

LOL, ENJOY! Hope you don't take this too seriously.

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Bright eye, bushy tail, the squirrels are ready to breed. It is a fantastic morning, won't go on how fabulous it is but it just is. It is time for school, Edd could sense today is going to be a great day. After finishing his morning routines he left. On the way to school he sees Kevin, that hunk of a jock.

"Oh my…" he says in his head.

He's been having wet dreams and what not about Kevin. Edd even dropped a mark on his algebra exam because he was day dreaming about Kevs.

Edd loves green, recycling, using bio degradable items…etc. and Kevin is the greenest apple to his eyes. WOW!

'Bring, bring' says Kevin's bike. 'Honk-edd-y-honk, honk, hot stuff coming through' is all Edd could hear.

Kevin winks at him as he passes. Blushes soon explode on to the surface of Edd's face, pink like a medium-rare steak. This delicious piece of nerd can't stop staring at him until he is out of his sight. Not long after Kevin left, he realises he is almost late for school. For the first time of his high school life he isn't the first one to arrive to school. Shocking! Edd, what has your life come to?

The bell rings through the hallways, alarming children, kids (or whatever) that class has ended and it's time for lunch. Edd exits his classroom just when he did he sees the jock walks through the hallway. He just came out from practice.

Sweat dripping down his forehead and his neck, manly odder brews in the air. The world animates in slow motion as Kevin walks through. Life has suddenly turned into a chick flick. Tight pants wrapping that wild ass that begs to be seen. Oh the glory of Kevin's butt.

He is blessed with calves that turn lesbians straight and biceps that turn straight men gay. His shirt is asking to be ripped apart. Beneath is a torso that roars with 100% manly juice.

With the face of an angel the voice of an alpha, Edd wants him bad.

Is it getting hot or what? The hallway starts to sizzle. Someone get the fire extinguisher!

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I'm not even sure if I should keep writing xD

Oh my gosh, I had too much fun writing this. Place me next to twilight, I can't write.


	2. I want to be your lunch

Hot like muffins in the oven, it is time for lunch. Beans, buns whatever selling in the cafeteria. Edd doesn't buy food normally. He thinks brining his own lunch is much more sanitary. However on the way to school he lost his lunch somewhere. Accidents happen.

A little school food wouldn't hurt, right? So he goes ahead and stands in the queue. Well, guess what? Edd is the lucky guy of the day; Kevin is standing right next to him. Great encounter Edd, good job for losing your lunch.

"Hey, double-d" says Kevin, with a smirk that makes anyone skip a heartbeat.

"s-salu-t….." Edd stumbles across his greeting.

Russel, rattle, and what not, they managed to hit it off. Edd waddles his way out of the queue to find a place to sit after purchasing his "healthy" lunch. With a hamburger that can barely tell when and where it was made, and most importantly what it was made from. From the silhouette of the burger it seems like there's a rat tail and a…claw? Yuck.

Oh well, at least he got to meet Kevin. A little germ and chemicals is all worth it.

Looking at the jock from his lonely table, he wishes he could be with him. Oh those marvellous hands with strong fingers holding his lunch. Edd could've sworn he wanted to be Kevin's lunch at the moment. He wants to be the one making contact with his luscious, rose like lips.

You must be drunk to read the second chapter….but good on you, I like your attitude.


	3. You Belong To My Dreams

Just read it and get on with your day, I can't write xD

Now feel better about yourself, do it!

Drink a glass of vodka or sth so you might think its good.

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Every step Kevin takes make an "sssss" sound on the floor, that's how hot he is.

Sizzling sausage, that boy is hot. Edd had a crush on him since the first day of high school. As kids, he admired Kevin. Later on that admiration grew into a beast of wild love.

Kevin makes him crazy, thirsty for some lovin'. **ROAR!**

Edd's heart pleads to be noticed by Kevin every day. It only develops more and stronger each day. Eager to know when he will notice him, like a reader waiting patiently for the next chapter of something to be published.

The tension chokes him every millisecond, strangles him, and tortures him.

Kevin on the other hand had noticed the little dork. He just wants to see how long this cutie can wait till he explodes. He teases him once in a while, just to get his spirit burning.

Edd dreams a dream where Kevin and he would be together, it would be wonderful. It will be AMAZING! He's a boy filled with dreams and hopes. What does he have to do to get Kevin?

Short skirt, but he only has t-shirts.

Be a cheer captain? He doesn't even go to the games.

If only Kevin could see what he's looking for all along is right next to him. Well, not really next to him…He knows he has a long way to go, but one day it will happen.


	4. Hug Me With Your Booty

A sudden thought hits Edd. If he wants Kevin's booty, would he warp them around him?

What if they never end up together? He calculates according to recent attempts, times they actually talk; times Kevin actually notice him and times they actually meet out of the times they've known each other…overall it wasn't pretty.

The probability of them EVER getting together is below 50/100.

The probability of him enrolling and accepted by a really elite university is higher than the percentage of them being together.

He trembles and shivers, like a Chihuahua. He is never fond of those creepy-pocket-size-dogs.

Edd decides to take the problem into his own hands. During that night, he planned and planned. Papers flying in the air as he dramatically throw them around just to scrap ideas and look for the plans he wanted.

Dawn arrived, may the war of love begin.

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They will mingle, they will tangle, they will…

Dance to the song of **Edd's jungle**.

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Day 1:

Kevin woke up to his daily routine. However today is different, yes is today is ALWAYS different. He got handed by his parents a letter that is addressed to him. It looks like a proper office letter until he opens it. A bundle of semen bursts out onto his face.

No, who would do such thing. That's creepy and gross. Eww.

A short note saying the following:

_You may anticipate, but you would be participating. Do not be scared my child, this is merely a game. A game of cat and mice, do not fear me. Love me instead. _

Well, just what kind of crazy stalker would write this? Kevin is creep out, perhaps it's Johnny. That kid is always an unpleasant surprise. He didn't take it too seriously, it is no doubt he is the best looking guy at school. He is not surprised to get a letter like such.

Like any other day (except with a stalker letter) he heads out.

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This chapter sucks, trashier than usual. Also, thanks for the guest reviews :D I didn't know they'd email it to you. You guys are so kind. I'll try to end it in 2 more chapters or so. Thanks you, you little croutons. You make this trashy piece of salad much more tasteful.


	5. Hot Cross Kevin

finally xD, I didn't update yesterday~~

have fun~~~ I've seem to made Edd a little creep...oh well 030

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Like a batch of freshly made hot-cross-buns, the plan is steaming with success. Delicious and ready to be eaten by him, yes with his dose of love this plan can't possibly fail.

Kevin opens his locker to find there is a letter in it. He left it there; if he opens it then he would fall into the trap of that stalker. The best way to avoid this game is to not notice it at all. As usual, he grabbed his books and left the area. On the way to his next class, he sees all these posters about pen pal, advertisements of the post office, basically 80% of the posters have a little envelope graphic. He realises he cares more about that letter than he actually thinks. However, he fights back the urges of going back to his locker and get the letter.

He thought he'd forget about it once he settles down in class, boy was he wrong.

The image of the letter floats through his head every split second; he can't stop wondering what the secret stalker has for him. Throughout the class he struggles to pay attention.

It was absolutely miserable until the bell rang.

YES! He packs ups his bag and rushes to his locker, fiddling with the lock trying to get his useless hands to unlock it.

He picks it up and opens it.


	6. For Sure Maybe, for sure Edd

Kevin's eyes shimmer in glitter like a Baz Luhrmann film. He takes out the letter and starts to read, but he is surprised by what he sees.

It's blank.

Maybe the words are on the other side, so he flips it over. Crushed by false expectations, it is blank as well. He feels betrayed, toyed and everything. He was so looking forward to reading the letter. He angrily throws the letter back into his locker and proceeds to his next class.

After all this is probably a prank and he fell right into it. He felt so silly. For the rest of the day, he tries not to think about it anymore…as much as he can.

**Day 2**

Until the next day, a new letter came.

"Did you miss me?"

That simple phrase recalled all the thoughts about that letter, whoever this stalker is; he is playing him. Two can play this game. He won't be toyed with this time; he won't care about this stalker anymore.

This will be completely behind him. For sure.

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I lied, 2~3 more chapters till the end? No…no way….not at this speed and this length…I'm trying to build up to the climax so yeah….don't take things too seriously…I'll update one more as soon as I finish them…I'm pretty busy lately, but I won't be for long 030


	7. Fillet Filler

_He won't care, he won't care, he won't care, he won't care, NO HE WILL NOT CARE ABOUT THE LETTER._

He repeats in his head.

_Why hasn't the stalker send a new lette-_

_**NO!**_

He feels nauseous, anxious and very curious to a point it is insane. He is caring too much. After a few classes the mysterious writer left a little surprise in his locker.

A new letter.

Kevin is so excited and happy. Like a reader waiting for his favourite writer to update, he opens the letter.

_Dear Kevin,  
I left a letter under your doormat. I didn't think leaving an important letter in your locker would be appropriate. Remember to check your doormat. _

_Anon_

Great, flipping brilliant! Now he has to wait till the end of school. What is this? A filler episode of some lame show?

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Dry spell~~~ Writers have dry spell, Kevin...


	8. Lard De Da

One more step, just one more step Kevin would be able to read the letter. He lifts up his doormat and realise there's nothing under it. Suddenly he sees a shadow dashing pass. It is Ed and in his mouth, there's a letter.

The big lard runs around Kevin's garden and attempted to flip over the fence.

When life gives you big lards, you chase after them. Then take back what is rightfully yours.

So Kevin chased after Ed. After 20 minutes of running he is done. He got the letter but he also found himself in a familiar environment.

This interior calls back memories…hey, it's double-d's house.

He must've been so caught up with the chase. He must leave this place immediately.

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Sorry, I've been busy with staying up. I'm so tired~~~ anyway, it's ending soon

Hope you are prepared, enjoy~~

Ps: I forgot to post the previous chapter even though it was already uploaded, oops. I'm getting old.


	9. Double (the size) D part 1

He realises he is on the second floor. Hopefully double-d isn't home. He thought maybe he could read the letter first then leave. Double-d is too nice to do anything harmful anyway.

He opens the letter and it says:

_Dear Kevin,_

_This will be the last letter I write to you. _

_Welcome to my lair._

_Edd (Double-D)_

IT'S A TRAP!

No, it's not. However it is a tad bit creepy. As he looks back up to the surrounding he sees…

Edward.

Oh no, Kevin doesn't want to be Bella. No thank you, not today. Bye. Kevin hesitates to escape or not. Just when he is about to bust a move, Edd speaks.

"Salute (long pause) Kevin" Edd says it seductively.

"Um…hey…double…..d" Kevin says nervously.

"So, what brings this…little mouse here today" He draws in closer. Smirking like a cat praying on its pray.

"Uhhhhh, I was just…chasing…Ed" Kev moves his iris to the corner of his left, trying to avoid eye contact with him.

"Well, were you chasing after me now? I didn't know you like, my D" Edd corners Kevin with one arm.

"oHHHH, umm, I mean…Ed, with one D, he uhhhhh, took something of mine." Says the ginger, with sweat running down his forehead.

"hmm, well…what are you going to do now? If you're thinking of leaving, I have something different in mind." Says Edd, soon followed by the rest of his words. He moves closer to Kevin's right ear and whispers.

"Admit it, you want my…double-d"

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I will finish part two when I come back from some important event. I hope you don't take this seriously...peace out, croutons~


	10. Double (the size) D part 2

Erk erk erk, bonk bonk, oink, erk, oink, erk.

E, e, e, e, e.

No, that is not Edd's bed. That's Ralph's farm/garden. Those are the sound made by his animals.

Back to Edd and Kevin, Edd kindly pushes the door open for Kevin so he could enter. Kevin sweats intensely; he doesn't know what this boy genius is going to do next. Yes, he could punch him in the face and run away. However if this he isn't going to do anything harmful, barging into his house and punching him would be a critical crime.

"Um…Edd, I'm sorry. I just don't think I'm ready for this yet…" Kevin breaks the silence before they go too far.

"What? Why, I was just going to show you my d-"

"No, no, no, ugh…..I just don't want to see it. Look, I'm sorry but you're just not might type. At first I was interested in the secret admirer then it turned out to be you…and…I'm…just not interested. I…was interested in them…not…you. You know? No hard feelings but it's like…liking a cartoon character's voice and then you realised their voice-actors don't compare…you know what I mean?" after a long explanation, Edd gets it.

"Well…I should be the one who is apologising. I thought…perhaps you might like something thrilling and romantic. I was just going to show you my desk where I kept all the drafts of the letters I've sent. I thought you might like to read more of those. I never thought you'd reflect upon it so negatively. Perhaps I should do more research on this area." Edd replies with a trouble expression.

"What…I thought you were…never mind…" Kevin stutters.

"You might like to go now, its supper time soon. I wouldn't want to hold you here any longer." Says Edd with a gentle smile.

"um…we can be friends if you want." Kevin answers quickly with a sense of guilt.

"No…Kevin, it is a nice suggestion but currently what you feel is guilt. You don't really want to be my friend, you only feel bad for rejecting my offer. However, if you ever feel like accepting my offer, please come back anytime. You are very welcome here. I will wait for you." The conversation ended with a smile from both of them.

"I'll see you around double-d" Kevin exits his bedroom door. Before he shuts the door he glanced back at Edd.

Writing his way to another world and lost in excitement of adventures on paper. Maybe, just maybe…he would truly like him back someday.

He could feel something warm sprouting in his chest.

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hahah, this chapter sucks. I just realised I left so many things unexplained. Whut-eva~~

Told you not to treat it so seriously. Hope you had a nice ride with this crappy fanfic~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for the peeps who liked and subscribed to it. You all deserve a bottle of champagne. Unless you're under the age 18 and not in Australia...then, you don't deserve one...because that's illegal.


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